Okay ladies, this is the big day! On this momentous day that falls right behind Christmas in importance I wanted to open something up for discussion.
How does your guy perceive Valentines Day? Does he do a good job making things romantic? How much do you reciprocate? Do you think he should take the lead in making things romantic?
I came across an interesting article on iVillage.com, “Why Don’t Guys Like Valentines Day?”
The author equated Valentines Day with “emotional blackmail” and suggested to help your guy out you should:
1. Be Clear With Your Expectations – Tell your man exactly what you expect to happen on Valentines Day
2. Accept What He Manages to Come Up With – Disappointment will only deter further action.
3. Understand that Guys Show Love in Ways that Sometimes Women Don’t Appreciate – Look for those ways and appreciate them
4. Practice Quid Pro Quo – Since Valentines Day is a two way street “you know darn well what your guy wants. So why not give it to him?”
I was somewhat aggravated after reading this article. I personally don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who has to be “blackmailed” to show his love for me. I do agree it should be reciprocal but if I have to tell him exactly what to do to make me happy that definitely would take the warmth out of the relationship. I understand that some guys would have some trouble understanding exactly what to do to express their love but when it comes down to it, it’s the intent and thought that goes into it that would make me feel loved.
Anyway, I’m lucky, my husband doesn’t need help in this area. He is off from work tomorrow and he planned a picnic for the two of us and we are also going to spend the day at a museum in LA. So I’m happy! And, I hope all of you are too!
What you are doing for Valentines Day.
Thanks Sister72 for the photo!
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4 comments ↓
I dislike V-day… I have asked past boyfriends not to bother, and when my now fiancee sat me down right before our first V-day together, and explained why he hated it… I knew he was The One! Nothing about getting the same crap as every other girl, on the exact same day, as expected, seems romantic to me. I’ll take the spontaneous mushy note, flowers, chocolate, etc. any other day… when my guy WANTS to give it to me… not when he’s being told to by Hallmark! Rant over.
Hi Nikki! Thanks for your comment. Personally, I don’t hate Valentines Day. I look at it as a time to celebrate our relationship and let my husband know how much I appreciate him and our relationship. After all, as a society we find excuses to celebrate pretty much everything else and I can’t think of anything more important than my marriage.
But I do agree, I don’t see the romance in rushing at the last moment to buy some chocolates to just “check the square” even though we do exchange gifts. I think the most important thing on Valentines Day is to spend some special time together and remember why you are together. Alot of times this gets lost after being together for a while.
P.S. I like your blog. Best of luck in your wedding plans!
I love Valentines Day, just because it stands for being love and loving others. Not for the commercialized mumbo-jumbo that Hallmark promotes. Don’t get me wrong I love me some bling - but like Nikki said, do it because you love not because Hallmark said so.
I had a Valentine’s jinx placed on me many years ago. I have had the day derailed by everything from sickness to a natural disaster. The problems started long before my husband arrived on the scene, but for all of his finer points (and there are many) Valentine’s is not his strong suit.
I’ve always looked at it as a preplanned day for the unromantic. Flowers - check, Card- check, Candy- check. I know that sounds bad, but when guys are bad at the romantic gestures, it’s nice to have it all laid out for them. It helps them develop that dormant romance gene we all hope they have.
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