I read a great article today “Why it’s okay to Settle for Mr. Good Enough” and it got me thinking and they talked about it on the Today Show too. A lot of people feel the pressure to hold out for their sole mate. He has to be right in every way, looks, personality, interests. If he misses the mark in any department he’s thrown back. Then there’s those “lucky” girls who found their “sole mate,” everyone envies their relationship. Then five years down the road they have two kids, “sole mate” Bob is 30 lbs heavier and is glued to the TV watching football all weekend while that “lucky” girl is changing diapers and cleaning toilets. Okay, this doesn’t happen in all cases, but based on the divorce rate it happens pretty often!
Here’s the video from the Today Show:
Is it better to “settle” for someone who might not be the “perfect” guy but might be a better father and partner through life’s ups and downs?
It seems, like I said in my article “Why We Divorce” last week, that after life happens, bills, kids, and other stress related issues, relationships start to come down to earth. You start noticing those flaws, things that didn’t seem that bad before grow to be unbearable anyway. So why not look for qualities you can live with long term rather than things that seem to satisfy you right now?
So what is your opinion? Do you believe in “sole mates?” Are you thinking long term?
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2 comments ↓
You know, I think it’s all just a matter of changing your perspective and having more realistic expectations. The word “settling” has such a negative connotation. If your priority is to marry someone who will be a wonderful father and husband, then surely you can overlook things like the third nipple/socks with sandles/star wars addiction/etc… After all, nobody is perfect.
Good point, the word “settling” makes it sound like there are things about the person that bother you and you will close one eye and try to ignore it. But, I think if you truely love the person you love the whole package even including the things you that may be seen by others as flaws (a third nipple I might draw the line on :-))
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