Fighting over money is one of the top reasons for divorce. So you might want to address the money issue before you tie the knot! While you’re dating everything is great, you are trying to impress each other with your generosity and making things special. So, buying / receiving those nice gifts and going out to dinner at nice restaurants might be a common thing.
After spending the average of $27,000 on your wedding, you might be starting your married life together in debt. Add to that a house payment, bills, children and you got yourself a recipe for disaster! So how do you weather the storm? By preparing ahead. Here are some ideas…
1. Discuss your financial situation with your fiancé: What kind of financial baggage are you bringing to the marriage? Are you already in debt? How’s your credit rating? What about your fiancé? Are you already concerned about how your fiancé handles money? Is he willing to discuss it? Then have this discussion to see where each of your stand. If this conversation is a problem you might want to think twice about a long term commitment because it’s not going to get better!
2. Discuss your financial goals: It is important that you are both in sync with regard to your goals. You don’t necessarily have to be in total agreement but you at least have to be able to compromise to the point that you are both comfortable. Do you both want to live debt free? Do you both want to purchase a home? Do you both want to put money away for a college fund? Retirement accounts?
3. Make a plan to achieve your goals: Even if you’re not in total agreement you can still work out a plan. Take a look at your goals and try to come to a joint agreement on how to achieve them. You might find that “you can’t get there from here” with your current salaries. Set up a budget that you can agree on, there are lots of books out there to help you do this. Personally, I love Suze Orman’s no nonsense practical advice. You might want to check out her book “The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous & Broke
4. Have regular meetings to discuss your financial status: Money is an easy issue to avoid, especially if you know you disagree about it. Unfortunately, avoiding issues leads to bigger issues. What has worked for me is meeting with my husband every other week to discuss our budget and know what the plan is to meet it. These meetings help reduce our stress level because we know there isn’t going to be any unexpected spending on the other person’s part. Set up a regular set time because it’s always easy to find an excuse not to have these meetings!
Are financially compatible with your fiancé? Are you addressing the money issue in your relationship? Let’s hear your ideas to avoid relationship problems.
Thanks {teegan} for the photo!
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3 comments ↓
This is such an important issue. Far too many couples gloss over the money before they are married, and even for awhile after the wedding. Make an appointment with each other to go over money matters so that you don’t keep putting it off.
The key is to be completely open (on both sides) about expenses outside of the norm such as buying a new expensive handbag or buying that new plasma TV. The responsibility lies with both to discuss before making such purchases and know that they can afford the items, not just buy on credit which will come back to haunt them. Any expenses besides that regular living expenses which get racked up to several hundred to thousands for the month must be acceptable to both or it could lead to resentment and arguments later. Of course, both parties should also have a set amount monthly for discretionary use so not every purchase needs approval of the other.
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